Friday, February 10, 2012

"You Can Tell Me Anything"

Recently I've been trying to really teach my kids that "you can (and should) feel safe to tell Mommy & Daddy anything..."
I realize its a big concept, but if we start talking about it now then if (hopefully never) something ever comes up they will feel comfortable approaching us.
Anyway... I've mentioned this a few times in passing, emphasizing "you won't get in trouble for sharing something important with Mommy & Daddy...."

It usually falls upon what I observe to be deaf ears, but, eventually the message will get there.

Well, just the other night I was telling Connor "Mommy wants you to know you can tell her secrets if you are ever worried about telling me something. You can feel safe to talk to Mommy and you won't get in trouble."...
Connor blushed and said "mommy I want to tell you something"
Mommy: Ok Connor, come here, lets talk...
Connor -- he slowly walked over to me, hugged me and whispered
I looked at him, stunned for a minute... I know he was NOT calling me that... but, I guess I was surprised that was the first secret we started with.
and he said "Mommy says that word to Daddy sometimes..."

Ohhh...boy.... Good Job Mommy.
I asked for it.
I got it.
I couldn't tell him NOT to use those words, because I just TOLD him he should feel safe talking to me.
So... I said
"Yes, Connor, sometimes Mommy says bad words when she's talking to Daddy. Sometimes Mommy forgets to use nice words... But, Mommy is proud of you for sharing that with me."

And... guess my plan worked.
Sort of.


Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

I couldn't help laughing! I think he got the concept. I've talked to my daughters about that, but I should probably bring it up again, along with an honesty talk. My younger daughter likes to make things up!

Fire Wife said...

Your plan totally worked! Not only did he get that he could talk to you about anything, but he also gets that it's a bad word, right? or else it wouldn't have been a "secret" to tell you! Sounds like you've done a great job to me!