Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I need Mom-swers..(asking for help from YOU)

OK - so, for the past week-week and a half my kids quit bedtime. Yup. Quit.

Connor USED to go to bed (in his crib) around 8:30 after I read him a few books and then sleeping or not, into his crib he'd go- and he'd just drift off to dreamland.

Paige, was a bit harder, but, she'd drink her last bottle and usually fall asleep while doing so-- then I'd quietly carry her upstairs and put her into her crib--which is in the same room as Connor.

If either of them ever cried out, I'd go running - only because I wanted the other to remain sleeping - I'm all for a  little CIO (cry it out), or fussing for a minute - but - not to wake up their sibling.

Lately, Connor got  into a habit of falling asleep in my bed or in the living room and getting carried into his room for bedtime. (bad bad bad, I know) When he goes into his crib asleep he'll stay that way but, if I try to put him back to bed awake, major freak out. We're talking, a MAJOR re-visit to sleep training -- seems like its gonna be worse than the first time we did this.

Paige - I don't know what's happening with her. Lately, she won't sleep in her crib. If she's fast asleep when I get to her room, the MOMENT I put her in the crib she's screaming, standing up and jumping up and down in her crib. So, we take her out and start the process over... falls asleep, enter room, approach crib- SCREAMING.

In addition, she has a hard time staying asleep lately -and she used to STTN (Sleep Through The Night).

I'm not sure what happened, especially with her...she's so far off track that I don't know where or how to start. I've tried a little CIO - but she ends up screaming harder because suddenly there is a dirty diaper in the mix, or, she's thrown up. Not good.
Heck, last night, I pulled a Super Nanny move -put her in the crib then sat on the floor near the crib - NO EYE CONTACT! But, she could see me. Yeah...that did NOT work.

I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm seriously at my wits end.
Last night I was hysterical crying trying to put them to sleep - and then I was ANGRY that it was almost 10pm and they weren't sound asleep yet.... I feel like I have failed. I feel like I should be able to fix this - they're my kids, right? I feel like I'm the one who let this sleep train de-rail so why can't I get it back on track.

Angry - it seems harsh, but night after night of not sleeping will do that to you. Especially when they'll sleep in YOUR bed, or the living room floor - but not their own room.

What makes this more difficult for me to figure out is that they share a room. So, who do I start with first? Anyway to help me get back on track? I'm really asking for help.


Karen, Tim & Jack said...

Instrumental CDs and Lavendar Bath. Both I am bringing you today in a rescue bag;) Sorry they quit sleeping.

Day 2 Day Living said...

Angry is not harsh, exhaustion will make any one angry.
I'm what my family likes to call "the drill sargeant" parent. So I'm not so sure I'm the person to give you advice, but I do feel for you.

Our Story said...

I have no advice as we are not there yet, but do not beat yourself up for feeling angry or frustrated; who wouldn't? I hope that you get some good advice and I hope that this phase passes quickly. But remember, they are kids and they do go through phases, and that is no way a reflection on you as a mom. You doing a great job and you are a great mom and I know it sounds trite, but this too shall pass. In the meantime, hugs and good luck.
Smilee :)

Lori said...

Kendra... Estelle did the same thing!! She was little... not sure what happened... but I used to put her down in the crib - semi-awake... and all was good. Then all of a sudden... the waking - the screaming - the jumping and crying for HOURS!!! I know it may not be the best advice or the best thing to do. But for us it worked and that's all I can do - is tell you what worked for me (after I tried EVERYTHING else).
We put a rocker in her room (it was there since birth - but I only used it for night feedings). I started siting with her at night and she would fall asleep in my arms. I know bad. Bad for some... but it worked for our family. I would then put her gently into the crib. Sit down in the chair sometimes, or just walk out... seemed to solve the sleep thing... she would fall right to sleep... in 5 or so minutes. She's never selpt through the night... so I can't help you there. She is just now sleeping through the night - at 4 1/2! Good luck - miss and love you! - Lori

Phoebe said...

Hi, Kendra. It's kind of cool that I can give you advice! Amanda used to have a LOT of sleeping issues, it's actually COMPLETELY normal!!! I promise! I've read up on it, and I am in parenting support groups and everything. Of course, right now, our sleep-schedule is off, but the sleeping issues she used to have are similar to the ones you are describing. And Amanda hated being put to sleep in her crib.

What Karen, Tim & Jack said was good, actually. Bath's really help, especially right before bed.
If the crying it out isn't working, try comforting them outside of the crib(such as holding and rocking), but leave the lights off, get them to lay down, and if they cry while lying down, pick them up and comfort them, all the while letting them know that it is bedtime. Stay firm, you aren't doing ANYTHING wrong. It's really hard sometimes.
And if they stand up and cry, you lay them back down, without saying anything. Soon, they get the hint that the comfort comes when they're doing what's best, which is lying down, and soon, they may even not cry in the crib.

It's just a tip. You don't have to follow it. Just sharing. <3
Much love.

Kayla said...

I dont really have advice but I found that the glow seahorse that sings worked for Potato.

I believe you have every right to be angry. You are sleep deprived and stressed that you can't FIX them.

I dont let Potato sleep in our bed but if they don't sleep in there room I would leave them where they lay and just see what happens.